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Showing posts from May, 2010

I am not a serial killer (Dan Wells)

I think my wife is a serial killer waiting to be unleashed on the world.

I had not heard of this novel but ran across a Powell's Books author reading late last month by Dan Wells. I read a summary of his recent book and then scheduled appropriately to go and listen to him. Jenn went with me and whispered creepy serial killer/mass murderer stats in my ear.. it was disturbing how much she knew.. I think my wife is a serial killer waiting to be unleashed on the world.
I had not heard of this novel but ran across a Powell’s Books author reading late last month by Dan Wells. I read a summary of his recent book and then scheduled appropriately to go and listen to him. Jenn went with me and whispered creepy serial killer/mass murderer stats in my ear.. it was disturbing how much she knew..? When Dan asked people to name 5 killers in order to win a t-shirt, she stayed quiet and named 14 under her breath. no one but the Author could compete with her, naming less than five, 2 of which Wells h…

Amberville (Tim Davys)

Referred on other pages as a part of the “Nursery Crime” sub-genre… Which was a new one for me to run across… Crime/detective novel, man#1 is going to die, and he decides that the best way to live is to force man#2 to save him. Should he fail to do so, man#1 will have his thugs kill man#2′s wife. Easy enough decision for a man to make, provided he does not utterly despise his wife, he should see what he can do about saving man#1.. Right? Well, that is the core plot of Amberville, but it has a twist… Man#1 and man#2 are not men.. Sure, they are MALE, but they are not MEN. Amberville and all of its surrounding burgs are wholly populated by stuffed animals. Eric Bear grew up in a decent family, in a decent part of town.. his father, Boxer Bloom, is head of the local schools. His mother, Rhino Edda, is head of the environmental government branch. despite upbrining, Eric always found himself in a bit of trouble. As a young cub, he found himself working side jobs at the Casino Monokowki. His twi…

News: FTC douche-claimer

Ok.. I think this is absolutely ridiculous..
I have known about this for a while and known I should put up notifications, but have been putting it off since the rules went live in December 2009.. just now had time to instantiate this.

According to FTC douchebag guidelines, as a blogger

Any positive review i may give of a book could be considered a sponsored endorsement. Negative reviews are not restricted.
Likewise, keeping a book after I review it could be considered compensation.
As such, I am compelled to advise all readers that my reviews may be biased paid wording designed to trick you into reading a book.
All that said, "F*ck you FTC".Mind your beeswax..

Next you will tell me that if I buy a box of condoms, which comes with 2 extra free in the box, I will need to advise my wife that we are using the "two more per box" before we make love... But only if it is good.

His Robot Girlfriend (Wesley Allison)

Robot girlfriends, the bane of real women everywhere. They cook, and clean; they look beautiful and are always graceful; they are eager to please and, if you paid for the right options, they are “eager to please”. in the year of 2032, robots are everywhere. even walking into a mcdonalds you will find robo-helpers. Mike Smith is a 50 year old School Teacher. His wife is 11 years dead, his children are grown and moved out. Mike is just a lonely slightly over weight man who impulsively jumps on the network and drops a handful of cash for a custom robot, geared towards his every need. the? novel primarily focusing on the potential result of an extended relationship between Mike and his Daffodil robot, Patience. lots of conflict based around Mikes children, who were old enough to know their mother before she died. how does a robot lover fit into their dynamic. there are some similar under currents to the social issues experienced by mixed race couples and same-sex couples: rights, segregation…

Bitter is the New Black (Jennifer Lancaster)

First, i should mention that discussing two Jenn’s (Jenn and Jen) in one post is really rough.. excuse me if i come across a bit more grammar-retarded than normal. Lets begin with the title: Bitter is the new black: Confessions of a condescending, ego-maniacal, self-centered smart ass or Why you should never carry a Prada bag to the Unemployment Office how could you NOT want to read this book? before we get started, to the male readers out there, no worries, you will likely enjoy this. Jen Lancaster is like the sarcastic best friend you had in high-school that loved her fashion but doesn’t make you feel like a fool for not knowing the difference between Prada, Coach, and Juicy Couture handbags, she would just roll her eyes then school you with something heavy, and likely blunt ended.. she would be the friend that drank you under the table, mocked you, stole the bacon from your burger, and in the end, you were pleased to let her do it all. that said, this is NOT a chick book, it is a golden…

Fanny Hill: What in the world was I thinking.. How can I bleach mybrain?

Ever wanted to read porn from England circa the 1740′s? I picked up a copy of this, thinking that anachronistic descriptions of overly prude sexual encounters would be humorous. I was dead wrong here.
Fanny Hill (John Cleland)G. Fenton, Publisher288 pages (approx)OCLC: 13050889Dewey Decimal: 823/.6 19LC Class: PR3348.C65 M45Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure was “out there”. Imagine the dirtiest filthy disgusting porn available in our culture. Double that and put it into a written format with archaic wording. Needless to say, I was surprised and did not finish this book. I am far from prudish, but the book while witty and precise, went places I never wanted to visit. Explicit sexual encounters with a fourteen year old is on that 'not interested' list. I recognize that at the time of authorship, this was less of a concern due to age perceptions in society.

I would not say that this is something that people should not read. Instead, just be informed. If you are not into gr…

Pigtopia (Kitty Fitzgerald)

I can keep this very simple. I read this last week but was not a priority to get reviewed.. Have your read or watched a movie detailing the plot of the Frankenstein monster? Well, then you already know the plotline of this book. - Replace the little girl with a different little girl. - Replace a resurrected man and stolen brain with a large headed guy who has some mental disabilities, lots of family issues, a collection of pigs in a tunnel under his house and talks like Elmo from Sesame Street. Really.. I had the same “that could have merit” reaction that you are having right now. I can promise you that you are better of reading something else. Nothing against the author or the work, it’s just been done before, and this didn’t really bring anything new to book world. I feel like I got dumber while reading this. It’s not like reading Faulkner’s ‘Sound and the Fury’. There is no Benjy inside the main character, waiting to pop out in some raging stream of concio-awesomness. It is not like readin…

Expiration Date (Duane Swierczynski)

I don’t know why, but about every few times i go to Powell’s Books, i end up checking out the shelf that holds Duane’s work. i am never expecting anything new, i don’t know what i am expecting to be different, but it looks like repetition does eventually breed results. When i was there over the weekend, look what was waiting for me.. Expiration date, a book i didn’t even know was ready for release… So, what the hell is this book about? self discover and that exact moment when your life ends and becomes seemingly unrelated to everything you know. okaaay, can you be a bit more cryptic Jason? fine- Its about a man dying on the floor of page one, breaking it down to you why he has 3 bullets in him. its about fucking with things just because you can. then, just because you want to… and later… because you damn well know you shouldn’t, but do anyway.. Quick synopsis:? Mickey Wade is an out of work Journalist with no real drive. he has virtually no money, no girlfriend, no job, and moves into his …