Zombie Jebus Day / Fat White Vampire Blues

Beer beer beer wine beer… what a night.? i ate beef and drank a lot. Jenn puked. Sean was a smart ass as we smartass schooled his ass at pool.

Zombie Jebus day. . he died. he was reborn undead. many people follow him virally, religion is viral.. his legs never needed to be shaved or combed because his hairs was fine/dandy. women swooned, men swooned, standing water stood still in his honor. mascara smeared and was revitalized in a matter of moments.? other silly things occurred.. alas, the powers of the undead could not win against the mutant egg laying bunny. the virus began losing strength and zombi-christ died. our pagan brothers and sisters weep as they see fertility blossom, become wasted, and rot under the falling pre-april rains.

all hail Zombie Jebus, may he eat the brains of all Al-anon-believers… he will become drunk on their blood and his frenzy will be fierce. he will rip them apart limb by limb and create a pretty painting from ther squirting blood. some will call it art, others will consider it abstract-expressionistic garbage. others will claim that jebus paid a 5 year old to do it, but we will all know the truth. unless the child were undead, he/she could never rend the limbs from an alcoholics body. the muscle tissue is just too damn tough after proper aging and pickling.

Books – I just finished reading Fat White Vampire Blues. by Andrew Fox

Imagine if you will. a 450 pound vampire. he finds that the taste of a plump and well fed victim is far superior to other blood out in the world. and who is to blame him when compared to to the watered down, metallic tasting flavor of a vitamin infused joggers blood or that which you would find in a lactose intolerant soy drinker?

it is worth the extra effort to take a victim out for a full fledged chow session if it means that their blood will be thick and deliciously full of cholesterol, and triglycerides. as stated in the book, it would be similar to drinking 2% milk as compared to watery skim milk. one just TASTES better.. Give em a chunk of lamb, make it rare and fatty. toss on an extra scoop of gravy. whatever. it will make them all the plumper.

now. what happens when said 450 pound vampire gets in a race war with a vampire who doesnt like how he picks his victims, and what ethnicity said victims are?

This wonderful book apparently has a sequel and i WILL BE READING IT. overall, it had vivid characters, and an interesting plot line.

some of the book was a bit difficult to read as it seemed to skips important details in certain scenes. almost as if it was being written to fast for its own good. i was left checking pages 2 or three times in an effort to find out what i missed, just to determine it was an matter of interpretation for something similar.

obviously this did not stop me from devouring the book and loving it. it was highly amusing fromcover to cover.

VERY interesting interpretations and additions to the typical vampire mythologies. it answers questions that only physicists would ask