Skip to main content

Bury the children in the yard (Andersen Prunty)

Dear Andersen Prunty, recently you and I began to officially court each other. I cannot say that all of our dates have been positive, but they have all been memorable. At first I was hesitant. I mix well with the strange, but your genre, Bizarro Fiction, is still fairly new to the recognized literature scene as anything more than inappropriate.

At first, I didn’t want to fully embrace you, but was bothered by the possibility of you passing me by.. Many times I have picked up The Beard and considered perusing it… Some how, you talked me into lowering my guard. Before I knew it you were poking me in my head orifices with your dirty body parts. I was disturbed. Then I was into it. then I was disturbed again.
More specifically: Billed as a collection of Horror stories, your work [Bury the children in the yard] was not appropriately labeled. Horror it was not, colorful and frequently brilliant, and disturbingly “spermy” at some points? All of the above are true of it.

You presented this to me semi-nude, dripping of milk, with one foot firmly planted in the a motherhood disturbing erotic sensationalism camp. The other foot was precariously lodged in the realm of speculative fiction. Six short stories and one novella.. Each story incrementally better and different, and the novella making me cringe. Your portions gave me mixed reactions.

  1. You held my hand during “Library of Trespass”. It was good, but seemed out of place. It felt as if it should have been one of many interconnected stories in a single volume, not a standalone.
  2. - You fed me sweats and said nice things to me. “Music from the Slaughterhouse” made me a mouth breather, eyes moving from page to page. I hate you for not having more here. I felt it was excellent, and for that I hate you, but I appreciate you as only a conundrum can be appreciated.
  3. - You let me smell a steak at dinner, before replacing it with a green salad. You clearly knew I was a meatatarian and knew that you were doing me wrong.. “Butterfly in Ice” and “The Spot” were conceptually good, but I found their endings abrupt or incomplete. I was not particularly a fan of these as the abruptness took away from other wise enjoyed items..
  4. You caressed my knee, You stuck it in me by surprise, lube free, and smacked me on the back of the head with a roll of twenty dollar bills while calling me a clown-whore. The final story, a novella called “Bury the children in the yard”… I had no idea this was coming. I have no idea what spawned this thought process, drove you to write it, or approved it for print. This was disturbing, disgusting, hilarious, well written, and rough as fuck.
  5. As we drove to your home for a nightcap and some cuddling. “Laundrymen” and “Warm House” were both very enjoyable for opposing reasons. No other commentary available.

All in all, some spit shine could have made this more pleasing to the individual reader as it was unpolished in many areas. You could have also warned me you were going to be so rough, the title story was drastically different in topic, presentation, and length.. You were kind not to stick me with the dinner bill.

Our courting is complete and I am now your semi-willing clown-whore booty call. stop by as you please, leave some cash on the table with my dignity.


Others who are going to read this should be aware that the novella is “the Anti-50-shades”.. this is not for all housewives and teenagers sneaking a peak at books Oprah has approved of.

This is something you would find on a coffee table in Blue Velvet, next to an ear, in a world where Oprah doesn’t exist. Weak of stomach and easily vomitous folks should refrain from reading. The short stories however are accessible to a far greater number of readers.


Popular posts from this blog

AbyssRium (IDLE Idea Factory) + Strategy

Tap games are a dime a dozen in the mobile world. Most (as is AbyssRium) are free with ad-supported revenue and/or provide efficiency cheats in a store.

AbyssRium sets itself apart from other tap games by leveraging a unique concept. In a Synthetic ocean, you are the ever loving caretaker of a talking 'Coralite', which to the best of our perceptions is an underwater volcanic vent. The point of the game is to build strength and vitality for your volcano and its surrounding wild life; evolving animals and fortifying new types of coral. As each element of your world is enhanced, you elicit more vitality from the creatures for use in evolution.
It is easiest to think of your mobile device as the side of a giant fish tank, and you are going to be tapping on the glass. While you were told in life this was bad for an aquarium, in AbyssRium, your Coralite considers this loving attention. It smiles at you, gives on screen hints, and makes a slightly disturbing orgasm face every time y…

Anne of Green Gables: Hell to the graphic novel YEAH!

I grew up eating a lot of cheesy macaroni and hanging around women who obsessed over Anne of Green Gables. They watched the films, read the books, pretended to be the characters. I understood macaroni but failed to understand the pull people had for Avonlea.

As I got older, I gained an appreciation. My reading branched out to more than just Stephen King and Hardy Boys. I read the first book in the series and evolved into a big bearded dude who doesn't change the channel when some variation comes on the Hallmark channel. Netflix launched 'Anne with an E' and I holed up in the bedroom with my wife to consume it.

I nearly peed myself when I found out a new Graphic Novel was slated for release.

PREORDER! October 24th Release date.
Buying a copy through this link supports this site but cost you no extra money.
Put it in the closet for an awesome x-mas gift.
Anne of Green Gables: A Graphic Novel (Brenna Thummler, Mariah Marsden)
232 pages
Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN-10: 1449479…

River Queens: Keeping good company with Huck and Hemingway

Pre-Release, publication set for 10/17/18
A boat is a hole in the water you throw money into,” is one of thousands of sayings that denies the truth which every sailor respects: a boat is conduct into a hostile environment. Water is a hostile environment. Seafarers are so afraid of it that we make jokes about running aground, catching fire, and blowing up; accidents happen. But that danger is the bond that holds together otherwise free-spirited individuals into one cohesive lot.
- River Queens
Based on a review copy of the book, I was pleased that my initial impressions were shallow. Initial thoughts (after reading the leaf notes alone) were a presented heavy handedness, calling hail to the great American novel as many small publications aspire every year. Determining what I was actually to be reading required cracking the first page and just taking it on directly. The title of the book, ‘River Queens: Saucy boat, stout mates, spotted dog, America’ supported a potential hyperbolic w…