Bride of the Fat White Vampire (Andrew Fox)

Years ago, I read and reviewed Fat White Vampire Blues. In that novel, Andrew Fox introduces us to a series of absurdly fascinating characters, including the title fat vamp character Jules Duchon. Jules is a huge man, a giant, disgusting, vampiric tub of lard. He is smaller than the oracle record keeping fat vampire in Blade. He is smaller than a house. But his 400-500 pound size is becoming a problem for him.

An undead of his size cannot simply stalk prey, let alone the prey he prefers. Jules enjoys the a or of humans that are equally fat. He wants triglycerides and fat blood that taste so good on his tongue. Jules has eased this need by driving a cab. He picks up prey, gasses them, then gorges on their semi-narcotic laced blood in privacy.

Bride of the fat white vampire is equally as fun to read as the original novel. But also incredibly easy to spoil. Rather than doing so, let's focus in what makes this vampire series different than all the other trash in the genre.

• The FWV books focus in part on the mythology that vampires can turn into mist, bats and other shapes. The cool thing here is they address the physics of it. Mass cannot simply appear and disappear. As such, a regular human shapes hooting into a bat would end up a 6ft tall vampire bat. So what happens to the mass? Explained.. Worth reading the series for this original thought process.

• One of the more common bullshit plot elements in vampire novels usually entails a struggle between vamps and werewolves, the Catholics, and several oter sects of undead (sorry Catholics). FWV gracefully transitions to a more classic struggle that is very black and white, racial in nature. Taking place in the south, Jules Is involved in some interesting racially motivated situations, unexpected for the undead.

• Incredibly candid sexuality. We are not talking over the top Souki Stackhouse garbage. We are talking some doodlebug owning being doodlebug action, maybe some kinky body modification?

But most of that is book one. Bride of is a spoiler potential minefield.

Just read both of them and consider yourself solid.

In writing this, I learned there is now a third book. "Fat White Vampire Otaku".. Time to add it to the shelves. Author website says May 2014... So get to releasing publishers?!!



Not needed, the publisher description is very adequate

Publisher's summary:

After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston.
What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.


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