Skip to main content

The Girl Before: Your life is complicated, time to go minimalist

The Girl Before is one of those CostCo impulse purchases that you are excited about and then are let down by. I could have absolutely skipped it, but enjoyed overall. Turned out to be a 'good-not-great' read. I don't regret reading it but I regret buying it and could have borrowed it from a library if at all.

  • The Girl Before (JP Delaney)
  • 352 pages
  • Ballantine Books
  • ISBN-10: 0425285049
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425285046

If you already know the plot, skip to 'The Gimmick' below for additional thoughts.

JP Delaney's story revolves around a couple of women (not girls) who both lived in the same apartment. Their worlds are intertwined not just because of the rooms they ate and slept in, they also loved the same man.

Jane moves in after a horrible miscarriage rips her world apart. Emma, the prior renter, arrived after a burglary makes puts her on edge and forces her to evaluate her living arrangements.

The apartment at One Folgate St is not a normal apartment. Owned and designed by handsome eccentric Edward Monkford, Folgate is a minimalist smart home. It has 200 rules in the lease contract that deny you the right to have clutter or leave dirty dishes on the sink among other rules. It asks you questions to validate your synchronicity with the mindset the property requires.

Jane finds that the owner is not much different. He is exacting, precise, formal, expensive, and exactly what she needs to move forward with life post personal tragedy. He is an uncomplicated distraction. Edward had also dated Emma, and they broke up just before Emma died inside his minimalist apartment.


At first, this was fun conceptually but became a nusiance within the first 10 chapters. The chapters alternate between Emma in the past and Jane in the present. Readers are provided snippets of information which intertwine the characters pretty well, but after the first half of the book it becomes tedious.

Right at the halfway point, I set this book down for a week or so, read a different book and made a new bookmark to distract myself a little. I was questioning if I should bother finishing the book at all. I did, and only a chapter or two later It picked up a little and I was reinvested.

However, the zipper tooth chapter gimmick makes both sets of characters diluted and really does take away from the story. I would actually suggest new readers bypass this and read every Emma chapter first, then every Jane chapter. I feel like this would remove some of the suspense but would speed up the story and give it a bit more emotional punch.

I wish I had done this.


Source: This book was purchased through Costco, who has absolutely no regard for my household budget. They place before me reasonably priced novels on a table that stretches the length of a warehouse. I pick them up then wander the store justifying the spend in my head. Thanks a lot assholes. Sorry. I meant 'See you soon Masters'.


Popular posts from this blog

AbyssRium (IDLE Idea Factory) + Strategy

Tap games are a dime a dozen in the mobile world. Most (as is AbyssRium) are free with ad-supported revenue and/or provide efficiency cheats in a store.

AbyssRium sets itself apart from other tap games by leveraging a unique concept. In a Synthetic ocean, you are the ever loving caretaker of a talking 'Coralite', which to the best of our perceptions is an underwater volcanic vent. The point of the game is to build strength and vitality for your volcano and its surrounding wild life; evolving animals and fortifying new types of coral. As each element of your world is enhanced, you elicit more vitality from the creatures for use in evolution.
It is easiest to think of your mobile device as the side of a giant fish tank, and you are going to be tapping on the glass. While you were told in life this was bad for an aquarium, in AbyssRium, your Coralite considers this loving attention. It smiles at you, gives on screen hints, and makes a slightly disturbing orgasm face every time y…

Anne of Green Gables: Hell to the graphic novel YEAH!

I grew up eating a lot of cheesy macaroni and hanging around women who obsessed over Anne of Green Gables. They watched the films, read the books, pretended to be the characters. I understood macaroni but failed to understand the pull people had for Avonlea.

As I got older, I gained an appreciation. My reading branched out to more than just Stephen King and Hardy Boys. I read the first book in the series and evolved into a big bearded dude who doesn't change the channel when some variation comes on the Hallmark channel. Netflix launched 'Anne with an E' and I holed up in the bedroom with my wife to consume it.

I nearly peed myself when I found out a new Graphic Novel was slated for release.

PREORDER! October 24th Release date.
Buying a copy through this link supports this site but cost you no extra money.
Put it in the closet for an awesome x-mas gift.
Anne of Green Gables: A Graphic Novel (Brenna Thummler, Mariah Marsden)
232 pages
Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN-10: 1449479…

River Queens: Keeping good company with Huck and Hemingway

Pre-Release, publication set for 10/17/18
A boat is a hole in the water you throw money into,” is one of thousands of sayings that denies the truth which every sailor respects: a boat is conduct into a hostile environment. Water is a hostile environment. Seafarers are so afraid of it that we make jokes about running aground, catching fire, and blowing up; accidents happen. But that danger is the bond that holds together otherwise free-spirited individuals into one cohesive lot.
- River Queens
Based on a review copy of the book, I was pleased that my initial impressions were shallow. Initial thoughts (after reading the leaf notes alone) were a presented heavy handedness, calling hail to the great American novel as many small publications aspire every year. Determining what I was actually to be reading required cracking the first page and just taking it on directly. The title of the book, ‘River Queens: Saucy boat, stout mates, spotted dog, America’ supported a potential hyperbolic w…